Interview: If Lucky Johnston was Vegan, He’d Eat More Crudités

luckyjLucky Johnston is quite possibly the most creative person I know. I have been lucky (see what I did there?) enough to perform with him in improv and sketch shows and am so impressed by his talent and hilarity. He’s a really unique person, is always fun to be around, and is the only person with funnier facial expressions than me (if I may be so bold). Also, and he doesn’t know this yet, but Lucky and I are going to collaborate on a video series, so look for that soon.

Meet Lucky Johnston.

How long have you been a non-vegan?
A lifetime, minus a few days here and there when I was bedridden from flu-like symptoms or fasting.

Why have you decided not to be vegan? Describe your journey to veganism and where you got stalled.
Having canine teeth has lead me to the firm belief that if there was a god, or God if you believe in Thor, he made those teeth for eating meat. He also wants me to smoke menthol cigarettes as proof of my faith, in an Old Testament way. Read it. It makes perfect sense in that context.
If there is no god or other such higher power, then I suppose I eat meat to prepare for all the cannibalism required in a post-apocalyptic scenario, as illustrated by the Mad Max franchise or on Teletubbies.

If you had to take one step toward becoming vegan, what would it be and why only one?
I would increase my intake of Crudités. One is all I can handle with the hectic cosmopolitan lifestyle I lead.

Which fad diet or meat-eating celebrity made you want to eat animals?
The All Muppet Diet. Or, Michael Chiklis.

What vegan food do you fear you’re missing out on as a non-vegan?
Keanu? Is that a thing?

Do you eat fish? You eat fish, right?
Yes. Also, yes.

luckyjdogAre there any animals in your life, such as pets or funny neighborhood squirrels? Tell us a story about them.
Once upon a time, there lived a dog named Lincoln, who was part Great Dane, and part… Tuxedo? He was a good dog who could whisper, catch tennis balls, and play hide and seek. His breath smelled bad, like fishes. I took care of him when my roommate went away on vacations or stayed on the couch too much. Lincoln got really old and his legs stopped working right, like Bambi on ice. He would Tokyo Drift around the backyard. Now, he’s a ghost!

What do you do for fun besides eating meat and dairy?
I draw pictures, sing in the shower, patiently wait for the downfall of my enemies, dance, and do improv.

Do you have any upcoming projects you want to plug? Tell us about them.
I’m on Bovine Metropolis’s New Musical Improv Team, which will have it’s debut in April! I’m also co-developing an improvised soap opera for Dangerous Theater in which I’ll play half of a conjoined set of chambermaids, hopefully opening late spring, early summer.

Make up a question of your own and answer it.
Why aren’t you living up to your potential?
Poor time management skills, lack of monetary resources, and few if any members in my cult.

Song: “I Should Be So Lucky” By Kylie Minogue
Recipe: Vegan Green Dressing and Crudités

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