Did I say “stay” fit? I meant “seem” fit.
“How to Be Vegan” Tip 50: Pretend to Exercise
In other social justice movements, like women’s rights, we’re told that what we wear and what we look like aren’t important. And that’s true. But in animal rights, clothing choices are very important. What shirt you’re sporting on any particular day is perhaps the most crucial of all your decisions and should be given a great deal of thought. One garment can mean the difference between good and bad activism, life and death, an indecency arrest or not.
Do you A) wear message tees, or B) hate animals? If yours is Secret Answer C, that you love animals but didn’t know you were supposed to be wearing message tees, you need to read this article. Right now.
“How to Be Vegan” Tip 49: Never, Ever Wear a Plain T-Shirt
Late last year I was invited to join an improv team called Scoundrel. That’s how I met Katie Bowman, and I liked her right away. Not just because of her cool hair, though I admit that didn’t hurt. She was (and still is!) funny, open, interesting, and supportive. An improviser and a standup comic, Katie can be seen all over Denver, making people laugh. So, I guess I can forgive her for making pigs and chickens cry.
Meet Katie Bowman! Continue reading
It’s what all the good vegans have been waiting for. We clipped our toenails. We’ve been counting down. We did calf raises every day for the last four years. We set our phone alarms. We wrote it on our dry-erase calendars so our spouses would know. We’re ready. Are you ready?…
“How to Be Vegan” Tip 48: Celebrate #VeganSockWeek
Read this post or never read anything. Care about Paris or care about the other countries that have experienced terrorism. Support the troops or care about a football player who got in trouble. Show compassion toward animals or people. Be a good vegan or join non-vegans for Thanksgiving.
There are so many choices in life, and all of them are black and white. Gray areas are for chumps. Nuance is for jerks. Complexity is for butt-munches. Do you want to be a butt-munch? Probably not.
I learned all of this really smart stuff on Facebook recently, and I just had to share it with you. If we’re going to be ethical people – and perfect vegans – we have to make good choices. And by “good,” I mean all the way at one extreme end of the spectrum. Every spectrum. All the time. Pick a spectrum and move your eyes all the way to one side. Land there. And dig your heels in! People will try to tell you that the issues facing us today are complex! They’re not! Just pick a side. Preferably my side.
“How to Be Vegan” Tip 47: Read this Post or Never Read Anything. Those Are Your Options. Continue reading
Anyway, my best friend Annie Niehoff runs a really awesome blog, which she interviewed me for after I begged her to do so. (I’ll link to that later so you don’t get distracted.) I figured, since Annie let me type words on her blog, it would only be fair to subject her to my snarky awfulness by interviewing her here. Plus maybe I wanted to get to know her better because I think she’s fantastic. Though, not vegan. Sigh. No one’s perfect.
Meet Annie Niehoff.
Please see my post Beyonce Isn’t Vegan and Neither is Anyone and replace all the “Beyonce”s with “Ellen”s.*
*No, I don’t think it’s cool that Ellen is selling animal products like leather.
*No, I don’t think it’s reasonable to sell (or buy) a $1,500 scarf when that money could be donated to an effective non-profit or spent on food for months.
*Yes, I signed the petition to ask Ellen to drop the leather products. And you should too.
*This is satire. I still love you.