You may have seen on Facebook recently a meme really similar to the one I made – on the right. Can you spot the difference? If you said, “The one on the right is ridiculous, and the unkind, judgmental one going around Facebook is awesome,” you’re right!

Wait, why is it awesome to be unkind and judgmental, you ask? Because we’re animal advocates and our circles of compassion are wide enough without including our fellow humans. It’s too hard to be compassionate toward people with different* backgrounds than us, different** cultures, different*** priorities, or different**** access to resources. We can’t be expected to use up all our kindness on humans. Get your own circle, losers; there’s no room in ours!

“How to Be Vegan” Tip 46: Extend Your Circle of Compassion to Include Animals (and Then Remove Humans)

Why is this Important?
Compassion is a finite resource. Like hugs, we have a limited supply. And anyway, who cares about people? I mean, it’s not like we have to consider them and their feelings in order to help the animals who they have power over. We can just make them the enemy, and our lives will be so much easier. We don’t have to consider tricky things like privilege, race, cultural identity, resource access, Maslow’s hierarchy, socioeconomic status, I’m already bored and confused!

How Do We Do It?

Here are some easy ways. You may be doing some already! Good job!

• Instead of assuming people love animals and just don’t have all the information and resources you have, assume the worst!
• Instead of thinking about how to keep dogs and cats out of shelters, think about how to take them away from their evil “owners” and never let those people have animals ever again! Take that!
• Better yet, don’t think. Just steal the animal. I bet you that family won’t go buy another one.
• Focus on arguing and accusing people, instead of finding common ground. My uncle is an architect and he says building walls is way easier than building bridges.
• Someone cares about a lion? Shame them for not caring about chickens! Shame is a tool we advocates don’t make nearly enough use of!

What are the Rewards?

• Being right.
• Making things black and white, so there’s a clear enemy, so we can be right.
• Having a good time talking with other right people about those wrong people and how we hate them lol.

What are the Challenges?

• You can’t follow Tip #6. Crap.
• You won’t be effective in helping animals who are under the care or control of people. And that’s most of them. No, wait, all of them. Double crap.

*wrong
**wrong
***wrong
****wrong

Disclaimer: I hope you understand that this is satire. Here’s a small, incomplete list of some organizations who are getting it right. If you know of others, share in the comments.

The Coalition to Unchain Dogs
HSUS’s Pets For Life
Vegan Outreach