It’s such a joy to know people who are talented, passionate and successful. It’s even more of a joy when those people – with the chops to back up a little cockiness and self-importance – are just the opposite: humble, helpful and kind. Kenny Kinds is one of those people. His comedic talents have brought him a great deal of success. He even opened for Keenan Ivory Wayans this year. Everyone who knows him loves him, and everyone who doesn’t is missing out big time.
Meet Kenny Kinds.
What is your name?
How long have you been a non-vegan?
My entire life. (Age Redacted)
Why have you decided not to be vegan? Describe your journey to veganism and where you got stalled.
I became a pretty avid weightlifter when I got to college. To build muscle and get stronger, you need to get a lot of protein in your diet (or so I was led to believe). Anyway, most of my protein sources came from meat and animal products such as whey protein. As I’ve grown older, I’ve tried to eat less meat, especially red meat, and I’ve started cooking dishes that use a lot more diverse ingredients (such as legumes, lentils, quinoa) than what I’m used to eating, which is basically chicken and steak. Getting into standup comedy has made it more difficult to maintain a healthy diet. The late nights and drinking are not conducive to a healthy diet. Also, I love meat.
Where do you get your protein?
Hemp protein powder, beans, almond milk, fish and liquid egg whites.
What vegan food do you fear you’re missing out on as a non-vegan?
Is there really such a thing? I’ve tried tofu and it was awful. I was at a party the other day where the cook made quinoa and blackbean burgers which were really good. Other than that, I believe I eat the same thing most vegetarians do. Except for puppies.
Eating meat kills more plants than just eating plants directly. Why do you hate plants?
If given the opportunity, a plant would kill everyone you know and love. I don’t know if you’ve seen M. Night Shyamalan’s latest documentary, “The Happening,” with international rap star and convicted felon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Wahlberg#Assaults_and_conviction) Marky Mark, but in it the plants start retaliating against humanity by releasing pheromones or poison or something into the air. I don’t really know what happened. I’ve only seen the trailer and I lost interest about halfway through, but I got the gist. Long story short, plants are douchebags.
Do you eat fish? You eat fish, right?
Yeah, I eat fish (if you know what I mean). I recently found out from my doctor that I’m allergic to shrimp, which I don’t understand. Also, I don’t think that I have a very good doctor.
Are there any animals in your life, such as pets or funny neighborhood squirrels? Tell us a story about them.
No pets. I wanted a dog badly when I was about six – so badly that I would bring home strays that I found. My dad wouldn’t get one because he believed that he would end up taking care of it. Which made no sense because he had to take care of a small child (me). Which means that he either hated dogs, or me or both. Also, I had a cat but it ran away.
What do you do for fun besides eating meat and dairy?
Primarily comedy (if you can call standing next to a comic while people approach to tell him/her how funny they were and then they look at you awkwardly and walk away “fun”). Other than that, I don’t really fun all that much.
Do you have any upcoming projects you want to plug? Tell us about them.
I help run a comedy show at Foam Coffee bar with fellow comedian Kris Wernowsky in St. Louis, which has become pretty successful. I designed, write for and help maintain comedyinthelou.com and I’ve been writing for STL Up Late, St. Louis’ only late night talk show. So there’s that.
Make up a question of your own and answer it.
Who likes orange soda?
I like orange soda.