Here is a list of the top seven vegan celebrities without makeup! Don’t worry, they’re all on one page because I’m not a heartless monster corporation that just wants ad revenue from your click-throughs.
That said, I *am* a person who thinks it’s funny to mislead people! That’s why I chose a title that makes you think I was going to show you women without their makeup on so you could judge them based on their appearance! I’m judging you for having clicked! In your face!
Now enjoy reading my very well-researched and factual descriptions of these makeup-free vegan dudes!
1. James Cromwell. James is a cool dude who hangs out with pigs. Intelligent pigs (are there any other kind?). Jimmy is the best, and he doesn’t need makeup to prove it. That’s all the more impressive because he’s by far the oldest celebrity vegan on this list, at age 247. What can I say? He’s vegan, and we never age! Sometimes Jimmy has a furrowed brow, because of all the cruelty in the world, but just look at that smooth skin!
2. Joaquin Phoenix. Perhaps the weirdest guy on the list, Joacquin (pronounced “Jack-queen”) doesn’t do much to change the stereotype that vegans are weirdo hippies. But then again neither do any of us, eh? I’m eating kale right now! What Jaxqin does do is make veganism look good—with a fresh, natural look that says, “It’s not Maybelline, guys. I was born with it!” You go, girl!
3. Liam Hemsworth. Nobody over 30 knows who this kid is, but the young people love him. What I do know is that Amy Schumer has a crush on him. Maybe she’ll go vegan to impress him, and that would be pretty cool. She already speaks up for women, so speaking up for animals would be a great next step. Amy, will you do that for us? I mean for Liam? I mean for the animals? Liam Hemsworth, everybody!
4. Woody Harrelson. He played a vegan in the movie Seven Pounds, and he did an amazing job. Coincidence? Probably not, because he is one in real life! Woody makes us all swoon by representing veganism on the big screen. And he makes us swoon even more by going completely makeup-less off-screen! So brave! But c’mon, those have got to be contact lenses, amiright?
5. Russell Simmons. Better known as Russons, this vegan celeb is the cofounder of the label Def Jam Recordings. But he’s not deaf when it comes to hearing the cries of animals in need. See what I did there? Russons has managed to make a lot of money, get super famous, and help animals—all without makeup.
6. Jack Norris. If you don’t know him, it’s not because he’s not famous. It’s because you live under a rock. Get it together, he’s the cofounder of Vegan Outreach! This guy has been working hard for animals since I was knee-high to a rescued grasshopper, and I’ve never seen him take a substantial break—not even to apply concealer. And thank God for that! Score one for the #NoMakeup warriors.
7. Moby. Nobody under 30 knows it, but this activist and restauranteur also writes and sings songs. But back to that restaurant! Little Pine in Los Angeles has an all-vegan menu and a business plan that supports animal charities. That’s why Moby is best known for his activism—and of course for his makeup-free porcelain skin. Thanks for being a role model for little boys everywhere, Moby!