I typically don’t do product reviews on Weird! Why Aren’t You Vegan?

But someone asked me to.

And I’m really glad to do it, because not only did I get free goodies out of this whole deal, I also get to write a snarky blog post about something new! That “something new” is Bergies socks! They were kind enough to send me five pairs to try out, and now I’m going to tell you what I think of them.

As you can see from the picture (you’re welcome – damn I’m good at this product review thing), they sent me one pair with avocados on them, one that says “VEGAN,” one that says “OMG,” one with flying pigs, and one with a pattern. Judging solely based on looks, which is how all people and objects should be judged, my favorites are the avocado socks and the “VEGAN” socks. Judging by touch, which you should never do with strangers, I also really dig the pattern ones. They’re thick and soft.

I guess in a product review, I’m also expected to judge the product based on my use of it. Now, keep in mind, I work from home, so I don’t often need socks. Or pants. Or showers. But I was excited to try these out, and the first pair I chose to wear was the one with “VEGAN” written on them. I like for my ankles to fit the stereotype of the loud, preachy vegan. They felt comfy, except somehow a tiny pebble had gotten into the right one. It was perfectly comfortable after I took the pebble out. The socks did their job: kept my feet cozy and warm. They did so respectfully, not sliding down like some socks do. Well done, socks. The only complaint I have about the socks is more of a complaint about societal standards of dress. And that is this: I want to wear these socks proudly without hiding them under shoes. I want to have everyone see them. Some of the socks have really interesting things to say.

Regarding the company, I really like that they refuse to sell wool socks. Because if God wanted me to have wool on my feet, he would have made me a lamb. And I’m not one.

Regarding the website (where I suggest you go after you finish reading this awesome review), I really like that you can click “quick view” to view any pair of socks without having to hit the stupid back button after every one, like on some websites. Nicely done, Bergies!

Regarding the selection, wow! There are so many cool pairs of socks in all kinds of styles. Cityscape knee highs? Check! No-show footliners with cats on them? Check! A creepy Christmas sock monkey?! Check! The only thing I don’t love about their selection of socks is that in the food and drink category, there are socks available with burgers, hot dogs, and pizza on them – and even one that says “BACON” on it. I’m assuming that since Bergies is a vegan company, they mean veggie burgers, veggie hot dogs, pizza with Daiya cheese, and tofu bacon, but it’s unclear on the socks. That could be made clearer, Bergies. For now, I just won’t buy those styles.

But I’m pretty happy with my avocado socks! Thanks, Bergies!